Ok...so maybe I've been a little remiss in blogging this year. 2006 has evidently not been the year for following up on my bloggerly duties...
I've got reasons (er, excuses) - work work work - non-band related health issues....blah blah blah!
Mainly I haven't been blogging 'cause I've been majorly stuck in my weight loss journey - but I've wanted from the inception of this blog to keep it as real as possible...to give the ups and downs of the banding journey.
I've mostly given the ups - hey, that's what people want to hear, isn't it?
Well, as I said, I've spent the first half of this year with those scales moving - between the same 4 lbs. Up one week, down the next....in favor of being completely honest, some weeks they don't move at all!
My inches haven't shrunk since Christmas - my clothing size is the same. People tell me that I look smaller, but they are either seriously delusional, very nice OR, all of my inches have shifted so they give a different point of view to the viewer.
Why isn't this lap band working???
Guess what? It's doing exactly what it promised! I've just not been working it. I've not been to the filling station since January (I just love calling it that...tee hee) and I know I need to.
I've had way too many days of not being able to eat much of anything 'cause I'm either not being careful with my bites and they get stuck, or I've seriously irritated the crap out of the band and my stomach to the point that they are refusing to work with me that day.
I've had days where (because the tummy and band were telling me to play nice) the only thing that would go down were liquids - and did I choose the right liquids - or did I choose the milkshake 'cause it felt good on my throat? (Three guesses - and the first two don't count!)
I've had days where you could have driven a Mack Truck through the stoma and I've taken it for a test drive.
She is a fickle bitch and she likes to tease that part of my brain that hasn't quite been brainwashed about being banded yet.
Basically, I've taken a breather from the working o' the band for these 6 months...
But, it's not like I haven't paid attention to it, either. (She's hard to ignore!)
I've learned a lot about my journey - about practicing and believing what I preach...
I've learned that this WILL work...and that it DOES work. Long Term. I've not paid real attention to the band these six months - haven't gotten my fills like I should - and yet, here I am - six months later at the same basic weight that I was at my last doc's visit.
This is a HUGE victory for me! Any other diet - name one, I've probably been on it - whatever I've lost, the minute I take a breather from it, I find that all of those pounds that had basically gone on vacation have come back - only they had evidently been riding on a tour bus and found groupies along the way to join the crowd.
I've learned that just 'cause so and so never exercised a day in her banded journey (I'm not naming names, S.M.), doesn't mean that I don't have to explore that side of the track from time to time.
One of my excuses for not exercising has been this hip problem I have. It hurts so much that it's hard to do anything. I've started physical therapy now to help me find the things I can do - and help strengthen those muscles. I'm loving and hating it all at the same time - but I think just "loving" any kind of therapy/exercise is just the sign of a sick mind. (grin!)
I've learned that I can be humble - and admit when I've made mistakes along the way.
If there is anything that I can say is the most important part of the journey PreBand - that is to be patient. Your Band will be placed when it is right for it to be placed. I "fired" a surgeon early on in my journey because I didn't like the pace at which the process was flowing. I find it was one of the biggest "mistakes" of my banded life. While it's very important to have a great surgeon who is capable of doing the slicing and dicing, it's more important to have a great human behind that knife - one who is willing to provide care AFTER you get your band. One who provides some sort of support group so you can feel like you are not alone in your journey.
I'm a lucky one - that fired doc is willing to take me back as a fill patient. I just needed to look past the paperwork complications and towards the living with the band. I know that now.
I've needed a big time kick-start to getting me back on the "Band"wagon.
Today, I was sitting in my physical therapy appointment and Stephen had wrapped these weights around my ankles. They weighed 4 lbs. each. I was doing several reps of just sitting on the edge of the table and trying to lift my legs with this added weight. I thought, "MAN, who knew 8 lbs was so heavy!"
Then it hit me - I've lost 10 times that amount!! How DID I carry it all of those years???
Yep - I'm back on the bandwagon. I don't have a fill scheduled yet - but plan on making that call this week. Don't know when I can get in for it - but until then, I'm still going to be working it like I should!