I'm With The (Lap) Band

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Today’s Forecast: Clouds of Frustration with a Slight Ray of Hope

I have decided that I am a person who should not set goals for myself. Well, weight loss goals that is. I seem to do fine with most other goals…

No matter how well I’m doing up to a point – I get to the point where I say “Oh, I want to be this certain weight by Day X.” Invariably, I approach Day X and am nowhere near that goal. There is something in me that sabotages my achieving that goal. And I get frustrated.

Right now, I’m frustrated. I wanted to hit my 75 pound loss mark by my birthday. My birthday is Saturday – and I’m anywhere between 3 and 5 pounds away from hitting that mark. It’s not THAT much of an amount to fall short with – but it’s still falling short of that goal.

I know I’m going to hit that weight loss – have no doubts about that. Maybe I just need to quit associating dates with the goals. Maybe it’s the DATES that are bad. That’s it!

I thought this last fill would last me – but I know I’m able to eat way too much now, so I’ve bit the bullet and scheduled a fill with Dr. M on the 19th. That will let me get past my birthday – and will give me time to get used to the fill before I go on vacation on the 28th.

Funny enough, the ray of hope in all of this started out as a frustration.

I often work on work stuff on the train on my way into work – it’s just a jumpstart on my day. I’m able to go through some things that are tedious little bits of the work I do and get it knocked out while there aren’t any phones ringing or emails to answer.

When I’m working on these reports, I have a folder that I use as a lap desk and I prop it onto the back of the seat in front of me to give it some stability. That way I can use the one hand to hold the report and folder and the other hand to go through the information sheets that I use to check the little factoids in my reports.

This morning, I was sitting there and NOTHING was balancing right. Tuesday morning when I was doing this, I couldn’t get it balanced right, either – made even more frustrating by the fact that in my trying to get situated, the folder got turned the wrong way and I dropped all of my papers on the floor of the crowded train. This morning, I was determined that I wasn’t going to drop everything again.

I made a quick adjustment in the seat and it HIT me – things weren’t balancing because I don’t have as much of a stomach now TO balance my work on!!

I know the guy who was sitting in the seat with me was wondering what this chick kept giggling about ‘cause I giggled to myself all the way into work.

2 Comments:

  • First of all Liz, I think it is wonderful that you can't balance. LOL

    Second, you are right you don't need to associate dates with a number on the scale. Those kind of goals can throw us off. I know I want to get to 200 even eventually, but I stopped setting dates for the arrival. It will happen when it happens and it will happen sooner if I follow the goals I set for my eating habits and exercise habits. But IT WILL HAPPEN!

    Much love my band-sister

    By Blogger Hanane, at 6:06 PM  

  • I can relate - I set the goal dates, too. It cuts both ways: gives you a sense of daily urgency, but yet is rather arbitrary and can lead to let-downs. Hang in there. And happy birthday!

    By Blogger Sarah Kennedy, at 7:46 PM  

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